Fishbowl Mind

Sometimes I think that if I were a character of myth, I would be a muse. My head is constantly filled with ideas. Ideas that someone should do. Anyone. Doesn't have to be me. They swim around my brain, like brightly colored fish, flashing brilliantly in the light of ingenuity, and then darting back into the shadows to lurk. I wish I had time to do them all. To invent everything I've thought of. All the crafts, the bits and pieces. Sometimes I do a few of them. Sometimes I start something, and another brightly colored fish catches my attention, leaving the other thing behind unfinished. Sometimes I simply don't have the time or the skills to be able to pull off my grand schemes.

It makes me feel like my head is an overstuffed library. Filled with half finished books piled up in hallways, over flowing from shelves, and notes from pages floating around freely. Footsteps muffled by paper, and voices that are screaming to be found among the lost stacks. Ideas for novels, for poems, crafts, art, jewelry, inventions; things I want to say, things I forget about till several years later.

If I were a muse than maybe my head wouldn't feel so haphazard. I could whisper my ideas into the minds of those who have the time and skill to finish them; to care for them lovingly. Seeing my ideas brought into fruition by masters would be enough thanks for me. To see all my ideas become real.

But I am only mortal. I can not whisper, unseen, into the ears of masters. I do my best to fulfill what ideas I can. And I watch all the brightly colored fish, flitting about so temptingly, just as longingly as a mischievous cat. Wishing I could catch them all between my paws.

World As It Is

Did you ever notice just how depressing it is to go to the mall? And not just a personal 'I don't like people' kind of depressing. More a 'this is the state of mankind? Yup, we're doomed.' See all the happy people? Gushing over those new shoes, which are most likely, the most uncomfortable thing to wear. But one must sacrifice to the alter of fashion! Did you see that new top at that one store! Adorable, right? No, not really. But they buy it anyways. Consumers. Feeding the machine. And the machine feeds them. Here's another spoonful of brainwashing. You must buy these jeans! Oh, look at that poorly embroidered jacket! Isn't it darling! Erg. I'm starting to think they put chemicals in hair dye to make people more gullible. No, really, I mean it!

And here, am I. Sadly watching as my favorite places sell out to the popular crowd. Pretty soon, every where in the commercial world will be a proper ray of sunshine. Artificial sunshine. Bright. Shiny. Soulless. Where then, will we go? We, of the independent thought. Those of us who give a damn about something other than simple contentment for just our selves. Are there enough of us left in this world to save it when it goes under? When it drowns in pool of bottle blonde look-a-likes? I wonder, sometimes.....

Only time will tell. Only time. Until then, I wander. Filled with sorrow and despair. And, oh look.... pretty skullys!

Trains of Tomorrow's Thought

I've been accused of derailing conversations too often, so now I'll just talk to myself. You can listen in if you want. Just don't interrupt. It could be hazardous.

People talk about thoughts as being trains. As in "I've just lost my train of thought." I think my train has been lost for a long, long time. But that's what makes life interesting. People today are so wrapped up in tomorrow that they can't see today. "Live for the moment" has become "Live for tomorrow." Not that there's anything wrong with tomorrow. But you see, we don't live in tomorrow. We live in today. If we're always thinking about tomorrow, then we miss today. And today is a lot better than people think it is.

And that's another thing. So many people complaining about how today is affecting tomorrow. But they won't do anything about it. They make plans to do things... tomorrow. They talk about a better future. Well my question is, what about a better today? It's the little things that count really. Not organizing a huge rally for the rainforest's, or boycotting gas prices for one day. We have do to something today, everyday. You can't treat life's problems like so many people treat church. Go on a Sunday, and forget about it for the rest of the week. You have to live it. Sure, it's difficult. Buy hey, that's life. Easy is boring. Boring is something I can't deal with. Difficult is a challenge. I can handle a challenge. And hey, no matter how bad it gets, there's always tomorrow, right? ;)