Humans are creatures of habit. They take the same routes to work. Ride the same buses. Drink the same drinks, order the same foods, and use the same shampoo over and over again. They like stability. A ‘nine-to-five’ job, a routine before bed, a certain way they brush their hair. It’s true of older people, more than younger, but even the most rebellious of teenagers can appreciate habit. Even chaos can be habitual.
It is for this reason that I wonder if I am human. Or at least, how much of me is human. I crave change. Not disorder, or chaos, though I appreciate these things in their own right. But CHANGE. I like new things, learning, developing. Every day I wake to find that I am not the same person I was the day before, no matter how small that change might be. It might be that I’ve decided I like two scoops of sugar in my coffee, instead of the normal five. Or it could be that I wake to find that I no longer love the same person I did. Staying in the same place wears on me, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Having a static life drains me. The same job. The same food. I crave something new. ‘As changeable as the winds’, or so they say. Perhaps that’s why I dream of having wings. That I might take flight across the world at any time the fancy takes me.
Now, I’m not suggesting I’m an alien, or anything. Just that, I am not entirely the same as the rest of the human race. Perhaps I’m insane, and this is how insanity feels. Perhaps I’m some form of mutation, sans cool super-powers. Perhaps I am simply anachronistic, in the wrong time. A soul that was intended for a time long past, or yet to come, but through some mishap of fate, ended up here.
Who can be sure? There are no answers for questions like that. But one thing is certain. I crave change. And change must happen. Soon. Before my head explodes. Either the world will change and sweep me along, or I will change it on my own. But I can not abide this static world much longer.
