Insomniac

So, I'm sitting here.  In the dark.  Listening to a house full of snores, wondering why I'm still awake.  It's very unusual for me to be awake.  As much as I like the night and the dark, I also really like to sleep.  I have wonderful dreams.  But it seems I won't be dreaming this night.

This whole day has been off for me.  I knew something was up when I felt a desire to clean.  That just can't be normal.  And then later I just had to make something.  It  was with the same need of a starving man reaching for food when I reached for my paints.  And as I started brushing paint across my canvas, I wondered.  Wondered if something might be wrong with me.  Because, you see, I never just start something.  I'm not the kind of person who can sit and paint a picture straight out of my head.  I have to plan.  To find models, ideas, and stock images.  Place them just so.  Draw it out.  Trace it.  Question it.  Rinse and repeat.  

But not tonight.  Tonight I went on impulse.  And I'm actually happy with the resulting work so far.  Unusual.  This energy.  I don't know where it's come from.  It's like I'm wired to a car battery.  Been possessed by the Energizer bunny.  Who knows.  

But whatever it is, I am here now.  Tapping on the keys slowly, so as not to wake anyone.  Wondering exactly what I'm doing here.  I don't really have anything important to say.  Usually I come to this place when I have a message; something to get off my chest.  Tonight... I'm just rambling.  Like a train without tracks.  I suppose it's fitting.  I am the Queen of Derailment.  Ah, well.  Can't fight with the crown.  Sometimes you just have to wear it.